Resources

Exercises

task_alt Daily micro-exposure (30–120 seconds)

Guide : I do one mini speaking exposure per day: read a paragraph out loud, ask a question in a meeting, give a clear “hello” to a stranger. The goal isn’t performance, but gradual habituation to others’ gaze.
  • I desensitize my brain to social evaluation.
  • I build a habit of action instead of waiting for “the right day.”
  • I log each micro-exposure completed (proof of progress).

edit_note The debrief journal (anti-rumination)

Guide : After any speaking moment, I write 3 columns: What worked, To improve, Next micro-action. This factual debrief cuts rumination and turns the experience into progress.
  • I step out of global self-judgment (“it was terrible”).
  • I extract 1–2 concrete tweaks.
  • I limit the rumination that maintains fear.

forum The self-compassion coach

Guide : I adopt the voice of a kind coach: I replace “they’re going to judge me” with an observable goal (“speak for 60 s while looking at the room 3 times”). I aim for “good enough.”
  • I reduce self-criticism and perfectionism.
  • I rely on concrete markers rather than vague fears.
  • I make failure useful (material to learn from).

bolt The weekly “speaking” challenge

Guide : Once a week, I choose a situation one notch higher: 2–3 min at work, idea pitch, toast. I repeat until I feel a clear drop in nerves.
  • I get used to speaking under light stress.
  • I dissociate “discomfort” from “real danger.”
  • I gain mastery experiences.

visibility The “I’m excited” switch (quick reframe)

Guide : Just before speaking, I turn “I’m anxious” into “I’m excited”: same activation, different intention. I start with a simple opening sentence.
  • I channel the energy instead of fighting it.
  • I move from threat to opportunity.
  • I follow my throughline without chasing perfection.

rate_review Objective feedback (1 observation, 1 fact, 1 action)

Guide : I ask for descriptive feedback (posture, volume, pauses), not a global judgment. I convert each feedback item into a testable action.
  • I measure what matters (what’s seen/heard).
  • I reduce the impact of negative interpretations.
  • I feed a clear plan for next time.

groups The practice circle (supportive peers)

Guide : I surround myself with people who encourage trial-and-error (buddy, club, workshop). I multiply reps in a safe frame.
  • I normalize stage fright.
  • I progress through small, regular challenges.
  • I turn speaking into a training ground, not an exam.
By repeating these exercises, I become competent under the gaze: not stress-free, but able to act despite it—and thanks to it.

Written by Thibaut Comte-Sponville.